I wish I was still on practicum. Part of it is that I don’t quite get the reason for being back here so soon. I was learning more, faster, while I was in the high school. I’ve come here where we now “reflect” on our experiences. Like I haven’t already done that? I’m a Theatre student; reflect is one of our major modes. So instead of learning how to write a unit plan, or improving on our teaching style, we’re sitting in desks trying to pay attention to information that is either useless, already known, or easily accessible. Regardless it does seem like a waste of time. But more than that, I have another reason for not liking being back at UBC.
It’s lonely. There are tens of thousands of people here, but no one talks. I know maybe 100 people here. Actually talk to maybe 40, and spend time with less than 20. At the high school there may have been less than 40 teachers, but I knew a large number of them. They talked. They interacted. They were real. Not always trying to seem to be a perfect teacher, lest someone notice that they have doubts. I love teaching, but I have problems with the program. I don’t like how they tell us to do one thing, but model something else. How they tell us that people will react to your expectations, and then treat us like elementary school students. How they tell us to access prior knowledge in our students, and then tell us that our prior knowledge is wrong. Why are we jumping through their hoops to join a profession that is completely different from what they are portraying?
Maybe it’s the area? Maybe surrey is just a more accepting and open area than UBC? Could it be because of the large number of people on campus that no one talks? I miss UCFV, I miss everyone talking. I miss not having an oppressive silence on the buses. The feeling that I’d be breaking some social norm to talk to someone I don’t know and who may not be in my program.