Loneliness at UBC

I wish I was still on practicum.  Part of it is that I don’t quite get the reason for being back here so soon.  I was learning more, faster, while I was in the high school.  I’ve come here where we now “reflect” on our experiences.  Like I haven’t already done that?  I’m a Theatre student; reflect is one of our major modes.  So instead of learning how to write a unit plan, or improving on our teaching style, we’re sitting in desks trying to pay attention to information that is either useless, already known, or easily accessible.  Regardless it does seem like a waste of time.  But more than that, I have another reason for not liking being back at UBC.

It’s lonely.  There are tens of thousands of people here, but no one talks.  I know maybe 100 people here.  Actually talk to maybe 40, and spend time with less than 20.  At the high school there may have been less than 40 teachers, but I knew a large number of them.  They talked.  They interacted.  They were real.  Not always trying to seem to be a perfect teacher, lest someone notice that they have doubts.  I love teaching, but I have problems with the program.  I don’t like how they tell us to do one thing, but model something else.  How they tell us that people will react to your expectations, and then treat us like elementary school students.  How they tell us to access prior knowledge in our students, and then tell us that our prior knowledge is wrong.  Why are we jumping through their hoops to join a profession that is completely different from what they are portraying?

Maybe it’s the area?  Maybe surrey is just a more accepting and open area than UBC?  Could it be because of the large number of people on campus that no one talks?  I miss UCFV, I miss everyone talking.  I miss not having an oppressive silence on the buses.  The feeling that I’d be breaking some social norm to talk to someone I don’t know and who may not be in my program. 

Varying Shades of Beige?

At UBC there is a change that occurs when one walks inside.  While one is outside they are connected to the world.  There is nature and beauty surrounding them.  Then you step inside and it all changes.  Narrow hallways are common.  The temperature is obviously controlled.  The walls are stark white, as is the ceiling.  The carpet or lino of the floor is a sharp contrast to the bright colours outside. There are windows, but they tend to be small and barred, as though the room is afraid of being too influenced by the outside world. At UCFV one could walk in and out of buildings without loosing the warmness of natural light.  Without loosing the warmth of colour.  The walls are not white.  The carpets and lino is not designed to be as far from nature as possible.  There is a connection.  We seem to be only one step ahead of SFU here.  At least the outside is pretty, even if the inside is awful.

Home

Well it’s taken a bit, but I seem to be getting back into being home from pilgrimage.  Two days after coming home I graduated with my BA in English Literature (Medieval and Renaissance primarily) and and Extended Minor in Theatre (with focus on Lighting and Directing).  I then went straight from my grad dinner to an SCA event which I was running.  The event ran wonderfully, and now I’m going back to work.  It’s odd to be back home after being gone for several weeks. Enjoy.

Madrid again

And here we are again.  We’ve made it back to Madrid. I’m currently trying to decide if Spanair is incompetent, or just understaffed.  They were completely unorganized.  At least they didn’t forget our luggage. Our hotel here is pretty good so far.  It’s a new hotel chain called High Tech Hotels, and they seem to have bought up a number of older hotels and renovated them.  Free highspeed Internet in the rooms if you have a laptop, and if you don’t, then just go down to the lobby to use their Internet PCs for free.  First place I’ve been where we haven’t been charged an arm and a leg for Internet. I am looking forward to being home though.  We fly home tomorrow, and get in about 4:15pm. Enjoy.

My feet hate me

Well we made it.  We’ve walked over 200km in the last two weeks.  Yeah, I know, we’re crazy. So my feet are still sore, but soaking them every day has been helpful.  The tops of my feet look normal, but the bottoms look horrid.  I’d take a picture of them but they’re pretty ugly right now. I’m hoping that by the time I get home they will have stopped hurting.  Enjoy.